Violet: This is a priority message to all Sigma Team operatives, Assassins have stolen an artifact from our Rotterdam storage facility. Rally point is at 51.887107 by 4.559017. Be there by oh-six-hundred local time. Stragglers will be put to death, so move it!
Listen up, losers. There are two confirmed Assassins operating in the city. Target number 1 is Harlan Cunningham, the only survivor of a cell in Florence that our fearless leader eradicated a couple of years back. He stole the Precursor Box and is on the run.
Target number 2 has been identified as Arend Schut, former MMA champion and now Cunningham’s disciple… and lover. How romantic! He’s running interference, murdering our Templar agents embedded in Abstergo facilities throughout the city.
Berg: Sorkin, take Sigma Team and go after Schut. I will take down Cunningham myself, and recover the artifact.
Violet: I don’t like the idea of you going alone, boss.
Berg: I want to deal with him personally. Sigma Team, maintain contact with Violet at all times. You have your orders!
Violet: Sorkin you dipshit, don’t engage him hand-to-hand! Pull your men back!
[Sounds of a typical session in Call of Duty]
Schut: Come get some!
Sorkin: He’s got my gun!
[More CoD noises]
Violet: Sniper One, do you have a shot?
Sniper One: Negative, he’s using Sorkin as a shield.
[You get the idea]
Sorkin: He’s tearing us apart! Take the shot!
[He took the shot]
Sorkin: AAAAAAAAAARRGGGGGHHH!
Sniper One: I hit Sorkin!
[Sounds like the operation is “booming”]
Sniper One: He dropped a smoke bomb! I’ve lost visual!
Sorkin: He’s… gah… he’s gone!
Violet: That’s our cue. Pick your sorry asses up and get to the extraction point! Double time!
[Meanwhile…]
Cunningham: Just… just fucking kill me already!
Berg: I had a dream about you.
Cunningham: That’s sweet, but I’m with someone.
Berg: In my dream, you never made it out of Florence alive.
Cunningham: What can I say? I’m too stubborn to die.
[Some Michael Bay effects]
Schut: Hello, lover!
Berg: Perkele!
Cunningham: We can’t leave the box behind!
Schut: Fuck that. I killed half of Sigma Team. Let’s quit while we’re ahead.
[Pew, pew, pew]
Cunningham: See you in your dreams, Berg!
Violet: What a shit show.
Berg: Compile the relevant parts of our audio logs and send them to Laetitia England. Tell her this is exactly why she should be letting us hunt Assassins.